Affects and Effects

Nobody tells you that once you open the floodgates to the wounds of trauma, how that's going to effect you. No one tells you of the affects it may have on your family, your friends, all your loved ones. No one tells you the backlash and the chaos that ensues... especially when it's wounds from trauma 30+ years ago. Wounds that have been seeping toxic tears from being silenced so long. Wounds longing to turn into scars...

And once those floodgates are opened, they can't be closed again. Not without doing more harm. Who wants that?

That's just part of what makes trauma so hard to deal with when you actually start to process and do the work. Knowing that as we work through all these wounds, how it can potentially hurt our loved ones. 

Yes, we can talk to them and tell them what is happening on all the various and many levels. However, sometimes they just don't get it and don't know what we're going through. Sometimes they don't know how to react to what we say or do. Sometimes they just don't know how to be the support system we need. And to top it off, they have their own emotions going on, their own things in life to deal with and process. So it makes the whole situation very tough for everyone involved.

Source: Freepik

I'm being very open here when I say that my own family is going through this very thing right now. 

Some days are okay, and we get through without much commotion. Other days, it's nothing but chaos. Especially having a 16 and a 14 year old in the house!! I mean holy shiznit, it's utter insanity at times. Those emotions be running on high octane and it's like we're all about to burst. That is when it is absolutely vital to take a step back and breathe. 

Yes, our trauma is important to address and work through. But we also have to allow space for those around us to process as well. It's a lot, going through someone's healing journey with them and also dealing with your own internal things as well.  So in these high stress and high emotional times, it's ever so important to take a moment of pause. Breathe. And just decompress.

No, It's not trauma avoidance. It's love based consideration because especially when you have a family, it affects everybody, and the unfolding and healing process becomes one that you walk together. 

Source: Freepik

This is why it's so important to talk and communicate. Yes, being so vulnerable is scary. But you don't have to talk about the details of what you've endured, not unless you choose to. I do however recommend that in those moments of trigger to address them as it's taking place. Why? So that those who are causing said triggers can understand, boundaries on both sides can be set which aids in creating a more healthy environment. An environment based in mutual respect, love, understanding and compassion. 

This road has been a long and full of twists and turns for me and my family. It's only been recently that my family has seen the real after affects of what all my repressed trauma has done to me... and them as well. 

Nobody tells you how trauma seeps into the cracks and holes of your life and how you unknowingly project that trauma onto those around you. How trauma creates trust issues so vast that even the people you love most whom are your whole universe, you still do not trust completely. How it somehow has you thinking that you're constantly being judged by everyone, for everything. How it creates this low level paranoia that touches every part of your life... and that's just the tip of the iceberg. 


Source: Freepik

It isn't until you really start digging deep, and doing the work to heal that you finally see it's vast affects. And yeah, it hurts, knowing that our trauma and how we've dealt with it (or rather not dealt with it) has caused so many others pain. But that's where the healing begins. In facing the nightmare, we finally get to own our power and no longer let this crippling thing become debilitating. 

I look at my own family, my individual healing journey, and how that has affected us all. All I can say is this: have patience, kindness and give grace for space to process. 

This isn't a one day venture. It's not over in a month, or even a year. No timeline can be put to this journey.

Some days are going to be chaos. That's when it's most important to have that patience. Some days are going to be awesome with lots of laughter and good times. And you'll experience everything in between. 

The truth is, that's life. And by allowing the space for everything that comes forth on this healing journey, you allow the flow of life. You create more space for everything good that can be.

Take it from someone who's made vast and many mistakes in not dealing with with my own trauma. Don't let it fester. Don't hide from it. And most of all, don't let fear rule what you decide to do or not do. Because anywhere you go, it will be there, waiting. 

Life gets to be beautiful, even with severe trauma. You get to choose what to do with it, how it unfolds, and even in some ways the effects it causes. Be brave, and know that you're loved and deserve the very best in life. And when you're afraid to take that next leap, trust in yourself, because at the end of the day, that's what matters most. Loving and trusting yourself through it all. 

Love & Magick, 
Witchology, LLC 💫✨️💜✨️💫